There is no easy way to say this, but Im afraid Im very ashamed of myself at the moment. I have commited a sin and turned my back on the very thing i said i said i wont do. I got a lottery ticket. Now before you go, ahhhh, always knew you couldnt do it..stay away that is…let me tell you something. |I was doing pretty well until my friend told me that the Euromillion jackpot was nearly 44 million this friday and if i was getting ‘our’ ticket. You see, awhile back before I decided to give my lottery spending to trust God completely, I had a dream where I saw these bunch of numbers and won 36 million! And ever since I told my friend about it, we would always get a ticket every time the jackpot went over 36 million, and since i hadnt told her of my latest ‘trust’ commitments, she naturally assumed id be getting a ticket as always, and i didnt have the guts or heart to turn her or my vision down.
so hands down Im guilty, of a gross christain misconduct. I said that I would take Christ at his word to care for me and deliver all my needs if I seek him first and what do I do at the first sign of temptation? I give in. So easily, so freely, without much resistance! Surely I could have done better! I console myself with the fact that there is a million in one chance that I’ll even win something and a ten billion to one, that it would even be the amount seen in my dream. ( Ive had a few dreams of mines that came true in the past – but it doesnt have to be this one) I also reassure myself that I will do worlds of good with the money if I do win. But I shouldnt even have bought the ticket in the first place. Now i feel all churned up and full of sadness inside. What kind of christain will i make if i cant learn to stop giving in to temptation so easily?
I will let you know how it goes.
I hope you have a good weekend. Im off to see my inlaws till sunday while praying that I dont give in to temptation to say whats really on my mind while Im there! As you can see, Christ still have loads of work to do on me!
You are in another country yet, I feel like we are twins. Hehe. Don’t beat yourself up for buying a lottery ticket….that thought ran across my head a thousand times. A couple of years ago, I just would have bought it and bet my best dollar on it that I would win. I found out that …I really wanted a quick fix to a rough lesson. I wanted to just get around the hard part …and get right to what I believed I deserved. I would look at so many other people and sigh…they are making all of this great money and I “believe” I am doing the same thing and they are rich and I am broke…woe is me. Then after I invested in every get rich quick scam in the world …including the lottery….the only thing I came up with is just being broke again, which made me feel even worse. Now, I just try to really sit down and look at things for what they really are and work toward making them better. Having relationships with people and reaching out to others has really taught me that when things are right…God will really open the doors for you. I know that sounds dry— but let’s try it together. Give yourself one year and let’s see what happens. Smile